Sandy and I are struggling. While we aren’t struggling with our relationship, we are struggling making choices and sticking with them.
Both of us are guilty of being constant “wanters”. We see something we want and buy it without much thought of consequence. “That is cool, let’s get that for the ceremony. OH! I like this too.” “Sure, lets go for it!” Now, when you do that a few dozen times it really catches up with you! Our budget has taken quite the hit because of this. Our wedding, which we were intending to keep around $15,000-20,000 has ballooned to $45,000-50,000. That is a
little lot ridiculous. When I brought this up to Sandy he simply shrugged his shoulders. I had to laugh.
Can we comfortably afford that? Yup. Both sets of parents are very generously matching each others’ contributions. Do we want to spend that much? Goodness no. I could think of a thousand things I’d rather spend that money on.
We certainly aren’t 21 and starting out in life with nothing like in the old timey days so spending that much seems like an antiquated idea. We’re 31 and 32, living together for 2 years and both of us have solid careers. We don’t need anything- so a bridal shower and a large guest list seem arbitrary. I’m all for other people enjoying those bridal options but it just isn’t our taste.
The biggest issue with our budget is the guest list. It is currently at 250 people and we had anticipated keeping it around 100. I didn’t even know we knew that many people! LOL Sandy’s parents both have extremely large families- both are almost Duggar big. Add my average sized family and our friends…it is a lot. Too many for comfort honestly, so we are really cutting names aggressively. While we are worried at offending people, we just don’t care enough to hold off.
Here is how we are chopping things down:
- Have we had a meaningful conversation with them in the last 6 months?
- Would we make time for dinner with them if they were in town?
- Would they bring positivity or negativity to the party?
- Will they participate in pre-wedding activities?
- Can we imagine the wedding without them?
- Do we want to strengthen the relationship and hope it grows?
- Do our parents want us to invite them? (A little respect goes a long way!)
Our current catering bill is $15,000 (cocktail hour & 3 different 3 course entree options & Kids’ meal) and alcohol is at $5,000 so cutting the guest list down will be huge at cost saving. Cutting the list will also give us the intimate wedding we really wanted.
We have also been discussing changing our ceremony to a more casual affair without the expensive gown and tux. Again, I love blinged out ballgowns and that is the image I had in my head but it isn’t possible to wear a heavy-ass ballgown outside in the humid heat of the Island in July. I need to rethink that.
How did you handle your large guest list and budget overages? Did you embrace them or make changes?